Bitterness vs. Gratefulness – 11/24/24

If you’ll turn to Hebrews 12, we are pausing in our Matthew series for the holidays. We’re going to come back to Matthew, Lord willing, in the new year.

As you’re turning there, I want to share the Harvest Offering amount. As of this past week, I’ve been told, over $805,000 has been given. Praise God. It’s just breathtaking. That anyone would give anything is a miracle. That people would sacrifice so deeply to see our auditorium built; to see Genesis translated into a language it’s never been in before; to see people whose homes were destroyed by Hurricane Helene, see those rebuilt. Praise God. And I hope in a couple of weeks to update you on just what has been given all year. It is just, it’s miraculous, toward what God is doing.

If you wanted to make a list of the most hated men in American history, Benedict Arnold would need to be near the top. He betrayed his country and almost single handedly cost the colonialists the war. He is to America what Judas is to Christianity.

But earlier in the war, most could not have imagined Arnold as a traitor. He was one of our nation’s greatest generals. His courage in Danbury is legendary. He had two horses shot out from beneath him — not at the same time, one after another. His tactical genius at battles like Ticonderoga and Quebec were even recognized by the British. As Nathaniel Philbrick, in his masterful book “Valiant Ambition” observes,

“Arnold might be vain, overly sensitive to a slight, and difficult to work with, but there were few officers in either the American or British army who possessed his talent for almost instantly assessing the strengths and weaknesses of the enemy.”

What caused this brilliant general who sacrificed so much for his country to become a traitor? Jack Kelly at the end of his new book, “God Save Benedict Arnold: The True Story of America’s Most Hated Man” — which I don’t think is as good as Philbrick’s but is good — lists at least seven reasons. I’m not going to go through those, but I think it comes down to three big ones. Three big reasons he became a traitor.

One is greed.

Arnold was perpetually dancing between lavish living and insurmountable amounts of indebtedness. His spending and his speculation consistently enticed him toward shady business deals. John Brown said more than he knew several years before Arnold betrayed his country when he wrote,

“Money is this man’s god, and to get enough of it, he would sacrifice his country.”

Another influence in Arnold’s betrayal was his wife.

Arnold’s first wife died several years before, but when he was 27 [37], he fell in love with an 18-year-old woman named Peggy Shippen. She was from a wealthy family in Philadelphia with loyalist leanings, and she was described as the most beautiful woman in colonial America. If the volume of your hair is the test of your beauty, she makes 80’s big hair look small. But many blame Peggy for turning Arnold’s heart toward treachery. She was the one who connected him with British Major John Andre, who was one of Peggy’s friends.

But I believe the greatest factor in Arnold’s treachery was ingratitude.

Ingratitude. Arnold felt unappreciated by his country, especially Congress, and their ingratitude led to his own. Alexander Hamilton, for example, diagnosed the source of Arnold’s defection as

“the ingratitude he had experienced from his country.”

In spite of all that Arnold had sacrificed for his country, Congress several times had elevated his subordinates above him in rank. They had this practice, Congress did back then, of choosing generals based on equity rather than merit. Their goal was to have two generals from every state, so the states were equitably represented, which had horrible consequences on the battlefield, because you have generals that were chosen to even things out who were not good generals. And this drove Arnold crazy.

However, this kind of injustice doesn’t fully explain his treachery because many other officers were treated unjustly by Congress, yet they did not betray their country. Even Washington, in spite of being mistreated and consistently disappointed by Congress, wrote in 1778, while still a long way from the end of the war,

“The hand of Providence has been so conspicuous in all this, that he must be worse than an infidel that lacks faith and more than wicked that has not gratitude enough to acknowledge his obligations.”

One of General Gates’ aides who visited Arnold when he was recovering from one of his injuries, described Arnold’s bitterness as like a candle that melts within itself. The aide wrote,

“The malice of this man is so bitter [that he] reminds one of a taper, sinking into its socket, which emits a feeble gleam just before it expires.”

Stunningly, Arnold could see the ingratitude in everyone else except himself. During the years leading up to his betrayal, when he was under investigation by Joseph Reed, he wrote this:

“I am [this is Benedict Arnold] I am heartily tired with my journey and almost so with human nature. I daily discover so much baseness and ingratitude among mankind that I almost blush at being of the same species, and could quit the stage without regret was it not for some few gentle, generous souls like my dear Peggy, who still retain the lively impression of their Maker’s image.”

I think we can all identify with that feeling that Arnold had at times, and I think this is one of the reasons Benedict Arnold has so captivated the imagination of the American conscience. As General Henry Knox admitted to his friend General Nathaniel Greene,

“I cannot get Arnold out of my head.”

Arnold did what all of us can do. He allowed the wrong of others to justify his own. The failure of others to make his own failure seem reasonable to himself. And as far as we know, he went to his grave believing he was right and everyone else was wrong.

If we intend to finish well, we have to face honestly the power of bitterness to blind us and bind us. This is why the author of Hebrews hit it head on in chapter 12. The theme of Hebrews is, Keep at it … He’s worth it. Keep running this race. But look to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. He’s worth it.

But in chapter 12, the author is helping us understand how our Father trains us to run this race well to the end. Look at verse 11, Hebrews 12:11,

“For the moment [all training] all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

That first word “discipline” is “paideia,” which could be translated “training” or “correction,” but it has to do with the whole process of Christian development, including education and disciplinary correction. And notice, it’s not all fun. Paideia can be painful, but it is fruitful for those who have been, that second “trained by it,” is the Greek word “gumnazo,” which we get our word “gymnasium” from. For those who have gone through God’s “gymnasium” of training, there is a peaceful fruit of righteousness that is born.

But what if I feel like I’ve been pushed too far? What if I’ve been injured? That happened to me recently. I finally got in a really good rhythm of exercise, and then I did something to my back. And you feel like you’re at a turning point, especially when you get old. This can go one of two ways. I can stop, address the problem, and then slowly build back up, or I can ignore it and cause permanent damage.

If you can capture that intersection, that decision, you understand Hebrews 12:12-17. That’s what the author is describing. He’s addressing people who feel like they’ve been passed over, and hurt at work, or misunderstood repeatedly by their spouse, or ignored over and over again by a friend. Or you’ve faced waves of illness, or loss, or financial pressures, or parents who seem perpetually unreasonable. And you are in what we could call the vulnerable condition.

1. The vulnerable condition.

And if you look at verses 12 and 13, he uses four descriptions of this vulnerable condition.

“Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.”

So this person is described as drooping, which has to do with hands that are limp with exhaustion, like boxers who are hugging each other because they can no longer lift their arms enough to punch. Drooping. Weak, that is, unable to be productive. Off course is implied from the “make straight paths.” I’ve become directionless. Aimless. I’ve lost my way or my why. And then lame. Limping. This person’s condition could degenerate into dislocation. Do you see verse 13?

“So that what is lame may not be put out of joint.”

This temporary condition of weakness could degenerate into a permanent condition of spiritual paralysis or could regenerate, to be (three descriptions in these two verses) strengthened, straightened, healed. That’s the vulnerable condition. So what’s the solution?

2. The vital solution

Verse 14, “Strive for [pursue, prioritize] peace with everyone, and for holiness without which no one will see the Lord.”

Here he’s referring to a solution that includes a horizontal healing, peace with everyone, that is relational shalom. Healthy, open relationships where I’m not harboring resentment. I’m not afraid to bump into you, or you, or you, because I have something against you, or you have something against me. And then vertical healing.

“Holiness without which no one will see the Lord.”

This vulnerable condition can lead to a kind of bitterness that blinds us to where we can’t even see the Lord if we don’t know who he is or what he’s doing. So the healing is both a horizontal and a vertical rightness, making things the way they were intended to be. Or you could describe it as love of neighbor, love of God. Why is this healing so critical? Like, why do we need to prioritize this? You’ll notice in verse 15,

“see to it…”

“See to it.” The entire community, and that’s in the present tense, should be giving attention in an ongoing way to looking out for this kind of horizontal and vertical healing. Why? Some of your translations may say “lest” or in the ESV you’ll see three “thats.” T-H-A-T, that. See to it,

That you don’t miss grace. You don’t miss grace.

Verse 15, “That no one fails to obtain the grace of God.”

The picture here is that of a straggler. You’re at the airport. You’re waiting for your flight. You’ve got your AirPods in, and you get caught up in YouTube. You don’t hear your flight announced and your plane departs without you. That’s the image here. There is grace being offered to you right now. Right on time. Don’t miss it. He said earlier, as Andy quoted a few minutes ago, Hebrews 4:16,

“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

Right on time. Don’t miss it.

Second reason we should prioritize this kind of healing is that you don’t multiply bitterness. That you don’t multiply bitterness. See to it that you don’t multiply bitterness. Verse 15, second part,

“that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.”

If you notice, the root of bitterness is in quotation marks because it’s taken from Deuteronomy 29 and has to do with a kind of covenantal presumption or entitlement. See if you see this, Deuteronomy 29, second part of 18,

“Beware lest there be among you a root bearing poisonous and bitter fruit, one who, when he hears the words of this sworn covenant, blesses himself in his heart, saying, ‘I shall be safe, though I walk in the stubbornness of my heart.’”

The root bearing poisonous and bitter fruit is a kind of bitter root that bears bitter fruit. The opposite of what we just heard about in verse 11, “a peaceful fruit of righteousness.” And by it, many become defiled.

Bitterness is more contagious than the flu. And it will spread through a marriage, and through a family, and a neighborhood, in an office, and a church. And the fruit is delusional. Bitterness cannot see itself clearly because the other person’s failure blinds us to our own.

Bitterness has the stunning capacity to see other’s faults vividly and our own vaguely. We’ll say things, “I know I’m not perfect, but…”

Right after Benedict Arnold betrayed his country, violated his vow that he signed as an officer, and fled to the British, he wrote to General Washington, who loved him as a son, these words. See if you can hear the delusion.

“The heart which is conscious of its own rectitude [its own rightness] cannot attempt to palliate [or reduce the pain of] a step which the world may censure as wrong. I have ever acted from a principle of love to my country…. The same principle of love to my country actuates [or motivates] my present conduct, however it may appear inconsistent to the world, who very seldom judge right of any man’s actions.”

Wow. He is seriously saying, I’ve always acted out of love for my country, I’m still acting out of love for my country, and the problem is not my treachery. It’s people’s interpretation of what I’ve done. That is stunning. That is the fruit of bitterness. Bitterness blinds us to our own hearts.

Not long after British Major John Andre, who was caught as part of this scheme and executed, John Laurens — a bit of useless trivia-he’s the son of Henry Laurens who, think Laurens County, South Carolina, is named after — John Laurens wrote to General Washington saying that Arnold, at this point, after Andre was killed, it has to be tormented by, he uses the words, “a mental hell.”

General Washington, who, as I said, loved Arnold dearly but finally sees who he really is, wrote back to Laurens disagreeing. He wrote back. He said this.

“He [Arnold] wants feeling!

Now, that’s an old way of saying “lacks the ability to feel the weight of what he’s done.”

“While his faculties will enable him to continue his sordid pursuits, there will be no time for remorse.”

Whoa. Bitterness blinds and then binds. And this is exactly what Hebrews warns us of next.

See to it…

that you don’t miss grace,

that you don’t multiply bitterness,

And then 3, that you don’t mimic Esau.

Who is Esau? Esau was Abraham’s grandson, Isaac’s eldest son, verse 16. Here’s the third “that.”

“that no one is sexually immoral or unholy like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal. For you know that afterward, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no chance to repent, though he sought it with tears.”

Verses 16-17 is compressing two stories into one. Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of soup. Later, he realized he had chosen poorly and regretted his decision. But verse 17,

“he found no chance to repent.”

Chance is the Greek word “topos.” Think topography comes from that. Has to do with a place. Topographical is place writing. Writing about a place. So what the author of Hebrews is saying here is he found no place to repent. There is a place to repent, but bitterness so fills that place that there’s no room for repentance. Paul said something very similar when he said in Ephesians 4:26,

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,”

Why? Because it will turn into bitterness.

“and give no”

there it is, that word again, same as in Hebrews 12 “topos,”

“give no [place] to the devil.”

Give no opportunity, base of operation, for the devil. So the devil loves when a place that could be a place of repentance, and grace that comes with repentance, becomes a place of bitterness, so there’s no space, no place for grace.

How do we make space for repentance? Now, we’d need a couple of months to fully answer that. But I do think there is one clear, and I believe the greatest, answer to that question is thankfulness. Thankfulness is the pressure washer that washes away bitterness and gives space for us to see our heart clearly, repent honestly, and receive the grace of God. Because God resists the proud, but he gives grace to the humble.

Will you, will I, choose bitterness or gratefulness? That’s really the emphasis here. The two will never share the same place. You will either become increasingly resentful and bitter or increasingly grateful.

Exercise: Think of a circumstance you’ve experienced, maybe recently or currently, or a difficult person — that shouldn’t be hard-don’t look, just think — someone that you feel pushes your buttons, or has hurt you deeply. Will you give thanks for them or that difficult circumstance?

Now, I know this is where we struggle, right? Because immediately it feels wrong. Because it feels like if I give thanks, then what I’m saying is she was all right, I was all wrong. Or that horrible thing that happened is actually, I’m supposed to pretend, is a good thing.

That’s not what we’re saying. What we are saying is you have a good Father who is training you, and, verse 11, is bearing the

“peaceful fruit of righteousness”

in you. Bitterness will shove that out. Gratefulness embraces that. And so I can be thankful for really difficult people or circumstances, not because I’m pretending they’re good, but because I know my good Father is working righteousness, his fruit, in me through this.

And I know no injustice will ever go unpunished. Ever. All injustice will either be punished through the cross as we repent and believe, or ultimately in the judgment. But God will not overlook wrong. And that allows Christians to be thankful people without whitewashing wrong. We still have a very strong sense of justice.

Gratefulness kills bitterness.

Look at I Thessalonians 5:15,

“See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another [I love this] and to everyone. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances;

Bitterness can never do that. Bitterness is highly selective, delusionaly selective.

“For this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit.”

Colossians 3:15, “And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which, indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.”

And be thankful.

Let’s pray. Father, some of us are in this vulnerable condition right now. We have been hurt, perhaps even treated unjustly. We can feel the injustice simmering within us. And we can either ignore and blame and lead to permanent spiritual paralysis, or we can receive a message like this from you as an invitation to embrace your grace, to find grace to help in time of need.

Lord, may we as a church continue to be a place that prioritizes horizontal and vertical healing. That it’s not about just getting through life and accumulating, or being well thought of, or pretending as religious people. None of that.

Lord, we want to be right with you and right with one another, experiencing your healing through Jesus. I beg you, move by your Spirit in such a powerful way among us now here, and for anyone on livestream.

And, Lord, please help us so that we are not quenching your Spirit. May we choose to be thankful. And that’s going to be a battle Lord, because we can give thanks right now, and go out to our car, and be flooded with feelings and thoughts. We’re going to have to learn by your Spirit how to continually give thanks in everything, and we need your help.

Father, many of us in our church family have suffered deeply and have every human reason for being bitter. But, Lord, you’ve shown us that that leads nowhere good. It destroys families, and marriages, and friendships, life groups, and churches. So please pour out a spirit of thankfulness on us that is bitterness-resistant. And we will praise your name. In Jesus’s name, amen.