Fasting From Our Insecurities – 6/9/24

In 2008, John D‘Elia published an important book on the life of George Eldon Ladd. Unfortunately, the book is difficult to find for less than $80. It’s a good book, but it ain’t that good. So I’m going to tell you about it so you can save $80. And if you could be sure to give that to the building fund— Just kidding. I’m kidding.

The title of the book, A Place at the Table, paints a fitting picture of the longing and the disappointment of George Ladd’s life. Ladd was born in 1911 into a poor family. His upbringing was difficult and sad. His family moved a lot (mainly through northern New England). His father, though a country doctor, struggled to provide for the family. He was also a very harsh man.

George has been described as, when he was younger, “frail, shy, and bookish,” in striking contrast to his popular, athletic, younger brother. In high school, he was described as “tall, thin, and clumsy,” and he himself testified to the name he received and was known by in high school as the “freak.” He always felt like a misfit, like an outsider, didn’t quite fit in.

His life began to change shortly after high school. He heard the gospel and responded. In his words,

“Christ became a reality to me … I resolved that evening when the invitation was given to take my stand for Christ and to make an open confession of him.”

Despite other challenges — his father passed away, he needed to help care for his mother — his life seemed to improve. He graduated from Gordon College. He was ordained to the ministry. He married Winnie Webber. He completed another degree from Gordon Divinity School while teaching. He earned a Ph.D. from Harvard, and he continued teaching at Gordon until 1950, at 39 years old, he became a professor at Fuller Theological Seminary.

He and his wife had two children. He loved to teach, wrote numerous books like The Gospel of the Kingdom. He was the one who popularized the Voss Statement “already but not yet,” which you’ve probably heard a lot. But right near the height of his productivity, he becomes a billboard of the first half of Proverbs 29:25.

“The fear of man lays a snare…”

A little bit of historical background: In the first half of the 20th century, conservative Christianity rightly rejected the skepticism that pervaded many denominations, churches, and schools, but often wrongly responded by taking an isolationist, anti-intellectual posture. So Dr. Ladd’s vision was to write books that were not only biblically orthodox but scholarly. He longed for evangelicals to have “a place at the table.”

He spent over ten years researching and writing a monumental book called Jesus and the Kingdom. He acquired a secular publisher, Harper and Row, and waited for the reviews. Despite numerous positive reviews, in May 1965 while on sabbatical with his wife in Heidelberg, Germany, he received one particular review from one specific scholar that was utterly crushing.

Those who were with him at the time described Ladd’s response with words like he was “stricken right down to the core.” He had a “strange look in his eyes.” It was “as though he  was mortally wounded.” He was “destroyed.”

He began to describe his life’s work as a “complete failure.” He would often lash out at that one scholar who wrote that negative review. He described himself as crawling back into his shell and said things like, “I give up.” He was 55 years old and assumed that his life and career were over.

Even though he continued to teach and write, his public presence was increasingly concealing deep insecurities. D’Elia describes this as “disintegration.” He writes, “The last fifteen years of Ladd’s life, while giving the appearance of being productive, saw the man tumble through a process of emotional, physical and spiritual disintegration.” In other words, when you pull back the curtain of productivity, a fragmented life appeared.

What did that look like? Couple examples. It looked like an unhappy marriage. Ladd described his wife as “cold and joyless” and even made plans at one point to divorce her — didn’t, but planned to. It looked like tense family relationships. Ladd had neglected his children in pursuit of these academic achievements and then resented them for not showing affection toward him. It looked like alcoholism. Ladd increasingly turned to alcohol as a refuge. And when he—for example—received rejections for speaking engagements he had originally been requested to speak at, he would label the people who pointed out his alcohol dependency as “legalistic.”

Now how does this happen? How does a prominent Christian theologian/teacher continue like this? Listen to D’Elia’s answer. I think we all need to hear this for our own lives.

“He simply denied that his problems were actually problems and allowed them to fester. Worse, he blamed others for situations he clearly helped to create: his wife was frigid, his children were disappointing, and other theologians were too critical. He would never fully accept responsibility for his own problematic behavior, nor would he allow it to alter or even inform his doctrinal beliefs.”

I would flip that. I don’t think that makes sense. Better: he wouldn’t allow his doctrinal beliefs to inform or alter his behavior.

If D’Elia’s perspective is accurate, Dr. Ladd — while accomplishing many remarkable things (and there are still many, many scholars, some of whom you would know today, biblical scholars who were deeply influenced in a very positive way by this professor) — but despite all that accomplishment, he still remains a vivid warning for all of us.

You could summarize that warning, one aspect of it: you cannot outpace, outperform, or outproduce insecurity. You can’t run fast enough. You can’t write enough books. You can’t do enough good to cover up insecurities. Your competence cannot outpace your character without serious consequences. All the intellectual achievements and ministry accomplishments cannot indefinitely cover up an insecure heart. It will catch up.

That’s why the Bible says, “the fear of man lays a snare,” a trap. This is why Jesus said what he says in Matthew 6. It is true: the fear of man lays a snare, “but whoever trusts in the Lord”— is what? — We memorized this two weeks ago — “is safe.” Whoever trusts in the Lord is safe. So Jesus is outlining, in the middle of his most famous sermon, words that we all need to hear if we’re going to finish well.

Quick review. After telling us in Matthew 5 who we are, how we live, Jesus in Matthew 6 tells us what we live for, a new security. Chapter 6 is, in a sense, Jesus saying, can we slow down and face our insecurities in the presence of our Father? And he warns us against trusting in two of the most common sources of false confidence: don’t trust in status, don’t trust in stuff. Status (1-18), stuff (19-34). What do we mean, status? Don’t trust in the fear of man, people pleasing, living to be seen. That big review. Matthew 6:1,

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen…”

You could break the first 18 verses, as we saw two weeks ago, into “living for people” versus “living for your father.” Living to be seen by, acting out as hypocrites before people, rewarded by people. Or living for your Father: seen by, living before, rewarded by, known by your Father.

He gives three specific examples to vividly show us this. First, we saw two weeks ago, secret giving. Last week, prayer. And today, fasting. So let’s look at example number three, fasting (Matthew 6:16-18).

Fasting is the third example of the danger of living for status or performing to be seen. Notice first, Jesus assumes his followers will be fasting. Verse 16, “And when you fast…” Verse 17, “But when you fast…”

In a few chapters, we’re going to see in our journey through Matthew in 9:15, when the disciples of John came to Jesus and asked, why do your followers not fast? Jesus said, when the bridegroom is with them, they don’t fast. But when the bridegroom is taken away, they will fast. Implying, my followers will fast.

What is fasting? Biblical fasting is to voluntarily abstain from food for righteous reasons. There could be a variety of righteous reasons to voluntarily abstain from food. A couple of practical observations about fasting:

Number one, fasting usually refers to food but could refer to other things, like a music fast, a screen time fast, a sports fast. Even in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul, speaking to married couples, says that at times, a Christian married couple may fast from sexual intimacy in order to devote themselves to prayer for a specific time.

Secondly, fasting is voluntary. It doesn’t just mean I have an empty fridge or I’m too busy to eat.

Third, fasting is much more than just abstinence. That’s what we mean by “for righteous reasons.” For example, in 1 Kings 21:14, King Ahab was so ticked that Naboth wouldn’t sell him his vineyard, that he went on a hunger strike. He refused to eat. That was not fasting, that was pouting. Very different.

A dietary purge, which is common today, usually is not the same as biblical fasting. One ministry uses the expression fasting is “to withhold in order to be behold.” I think that’s helpful. I would add “to withhold something in order to behold Someone.” Fasting is not just giving up something.

This is really important because when I devote a day to prayer and fasting, I find my imagination often strays to cheeseburgers or a cup of coffee. They just pop into your mind randomly throughout the day. You can, at that moment, just wallow in the misery of a cheeseburger-less life. That’s not really the purpose of fast. The purpose is to allow that hunger to point you somewhere.

I learn a lot about myself in moments like that. I begin to see how often I use food as an emotional pick-me-up. Like, looking forward to a snack! I think it’s really important to qualify that eating a good meal, chomping down a good cheeseburger is not unspiritual. Are we okay with that? Good. Got a few thumbs up. Or kale. 1 Timothy 6:17 tells us God

“richly provides us with everything to enjoy.”

God delights to see his children enjoy his gifts, even cheeseburgers.

However, when we fast, we are setting aside a specific time to address lies that creep into our lives like kudzu. Lies like, life is all about my satisfaction. Or if I — and this is an American lie that is assumed to be true — if I have a need, instant gratification is my right. What fasting is doing is it is taking a sword to those lies.

What if that hunger I am experiencing right now is actually an invitation from God, my Father, to feed on his promises? As Jesus said,

“Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4).

What if that feeling of discomfort (“ugh, I’m so hungry”) is actually an invitation from my Father to feast on his kindness?

“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!” (Psalm 34:8)

An invitation to transfer my trust from cheeseburgers to the giver of every good gift.

Hunger is also an invitation to redirect my energies from my own kingdom to the Kingdom of Christ. As Jesus said in John 4:34,

“My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work.”

When we fast, we are refocusing our attention onto the Kingdom of Christ.

You see this exemplified by the early church in passages like Acts 13. They fasted and prayed as they sent out their best — Paul and Barnabas — on mission. In Acts 14, they fasted and prayed as they ordained elders over churches. Let hunger be an invitation.

Also for an increasing awareness of the sufficiency of God. Psalm 73:26 says,

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Withhold to behold.

Fasting, you will notice, also brings out insecurities. In some ways, it brings out: whatever we are, we become more of it during a fast, which is not always pretty. Like, if you’re struggling with insecurity, fasting will actually bring it out. That’s why these religious leaders were actually using fasting to promote themselves. If you’re struggling with anger, you might feel a little hangry during a fast.

You say, then why do it if you don’t feel more spiritual right away? Could it be that fasting is like a runaway truck ramp where God is kindly giving us a space to slow down and not just fly down the hill of life and get to the end to realize, I never dealt with junk that needed to be dealt with. I never faced the blind spots. I tried to outpace, outperform, outproduce. Eventually, these things will catch up.

One thing that helps is to look at the opposite. Paul warns us that the enemies of the cross of Christ worship a different God. Philippians 3:19,

“Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame [hence things like Pride Month] with minds set on earthly things.”

Paul is saying that that’s not who my followers are, and so when I fast —and this is not automatic — but it’s saying to God, “God, I don’t want to bow to my belly. I worship you, not snacks. Your lovingkindness is better than a steak dinner.” That’s easy to say in church.

One more observation: fasting must not be done to earn favor from God. 1 Corinthians 8:8 says,

“Food will not commend us to God. We are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off if we do.”

Paul here is talking about matters of conscience, but the truth still stands: you can’t starve your way to heaven. You don’t become more spiritual because you’re hungry. As Hebrews 13:9 says, it’s grace, not groceries (or lack thereof) that we need.

Jesus assumes his followers will fast, and as we do, he offers us two specific warnings.

Number one, don’t fast to be seen by people. Verse 16,

“And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others.”

In order to be seen fasting, they appear gloomy and sickly. “Do you see me? How miserable I look? That’s because I’m spiritual. You’re not spiritual. I am spiritual. See me in my spirituality.” The goal, Jesus is saying, is you want the public credit. That’s what you’re after and, verse 16 ends,

“Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.”

You got what you wanted. Dallas Willard writes,

“They may or may not think that God too is impressed. But that is not essential. What is essential is that they be seen. And guess what. They are seen by other people. That is the reward they wanted. They got it. The entire operation lay within the range of human competence. Because they had not involved God in what they were doing, he does not intrude on their project. They are at the level of their pharisaical righteousness, which never ‘enters the kingdom.’ Again, the ego swells, and the soul shrivels.”

When we trust in how people will respond to our good works, our ego swells, our soul shrivels. Don’t fast to be seen by people.

Second, do fast to be seen by your Father. Verse 17,

“But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face…”

What does that mean? Basically, he’s saying do what you normally do. Back then, when they got ready for the day, they would often wash their face and anoint their head with olive oil (so throw a little gel instead). The point, verse 18, is

“that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret.”

There were times when our kids were little (not many, but a few) when my wife was out of town and I was caring for the kids. The home would degenerate quite quickly. And so as the day approached for her return, there were moments, frantic moments, last-minute moments when it was time to try to get the home back into some kind of order. We would turn on the praise music and everybody— you pick that up, you vacuum, you dust. Let’s get this thing all cleaned up.

I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about this — maybe you don’t do this, but I notice when I’m doing something like that — not purposely, but automatically — I find myself, if I’m vacuuming, I’m kind of subconsciously imagining my wife’s appearance through the door and a smile on her face that the floor is visible. Or I’m hearing her voice commending the kids and me for caring for the house so well while she was gone. Do you ever do something like that?

In a sense, you’re doing a good deed — or actually, something that needs to be done anyway — but you’re doing something good in order to be seen. There’s a sense in which there’s a beautiful part of that —  you’re serving someone you love. But there’s also a very dangerous part of that if you’re ultimately doing it for that purpose.

Why is it dangerous? Imagine if your wife pulls into the driveway and you forgot to clean the outside of the house. She runs over one of the kids’ bikes and is really frustrated that it was in the middle of the driveway. Or she walks in and is feeling sick from the journey. Just head down, “Love you guys. I got to go to bed.” She just goes straight into the bedroom and you don’t get any commendations for your hard work. Or just as she’s about to walk through the door, your youngest, in an attempt to help dust, breaks this beautiful urn that your wife loves. There’s dirt from the plant everywhere on the carpet, and that gets all the attention.

Do you see what’s happening? In mundane moments like that — if you’re ultimately doing something for the credit, for the appearance, to be commended — you are setting yourself up for something really ugly to happen.

It’s a version of what Dr. Larry Crabb famously calls “justified self-centerdness.” It’s the number one marriage killer, by the way, above anything. It’s when I’m doing something that I think of as good, and then the person I’m doing it for doesn’t respond the way I think they should, which justifies my bad response and that cycle keeps going.

What Jesus is saying is my followers don’t ultimately serve people because the fear of people lays a trap. How does it lay a trap? Inevitably they’re not going to respond the way you wanted them to respond. You’re going to disappoint them. They’re going to disappoint you. You can’t outpace, outperform, outproduce the insecurity that is produced by putting your confidence in people, and so you step into a trap.

When Doctor Ladd received the devastating review of his monumental book, in a sense, his insecurities caught up with him with serious consequences. He had put his faith in certain people. You’ll notice all of us are wired this way. There are some people we really don’t care about what they think or what they think of us. But there are other people we really do care.

With Dr. Ladd — he even used the expression “I had put all my eggs in one basket.” All his hope in this one achievement. Remember the definition I mentioned two weeks ago? Insecurity is when we place our confidence or trust in people or things that can be taken away. People, status, things, stuff that can be taken away.

Here’s the question we need to get an answer to: how does fasting protect us from this trap, this insecurity? Here it is: fasting is an invitation from our Father to relocate our trust from status and stuff to him. Fasting is an invitation from our Father to relocate our confidence, our trust, our dependence from status and stuff to him. Let me give you an illustration of how this practically works.

Joe Frazier was a former heavyweight champ. He said this,

“You can map out a fight plan or a life plan. But when the action starts, you are down to your reflexes. That’s where your road work shows.” [He’s talking about your training, your preparation.] “If you cheated on that in the dark of the morning, you’re getting found out now under the bright lights.”

In other words, you can’t be a fake boxer. I mean, you can wear the high pants and have the gloves and walk around town pretending, but when you get in the ring, it’s going to quickly be evident — as your body is horizontal — that you didn’t train. You have the appearance of a boxer. You’re not a boxer.

This is what Jesus is saying way more significantly. He is not calling us to have the mere appearance of his follower and fasting, which in a sense, is happening in the dark. He’s saying it’s not a public thing. It’s a secret thing. It’s not that no one can know you’re fasting. But the goal is not publicity. It’s not a shining the light thing.

He is essentially saying fast privately or fall publicly. If we don’t fast in the dark, we will fall in the light. I know that’s too strong. There are Christians that don’t fast that are still going to stand strong. But what Jesus is teaching us, generally speaking, my followers spend time with their Father in private so that they can flourish in public.

Why is this such a big deal today? As we see Christian leader after Christian leader fall morally, as we hear of Christians who at one point claimed Christ and now deny him, we can see why Jesus, in the middle of his most famous sermon, address this subject in detail. Because fasting is essentially that training and transformation that happens in the dark.

Think about the three examples he just gave us: giving, praying, fasting. Matthew 6:1-18, giving. He says, “When you give,” and he gives such concrete assistance. He says,

“When you give, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.”

We talked about that. What does that mean? It simply means your training is so repetitive that you are routinely giving without trumpets, without billboards, without applause, and pompoms.

Then he talks about praying. He says don’t pray with all these many words, voluminous words, thinking you’re going to somehow impress people or God. I’ll tell you how to pray. Pray like this:

“Our Father, in heaven, hallowed be your name. Not my name, your name. Your kingdom come, not my kingdom. Your will be done on earth.”

You see, he is training us. Think of the last example: fasting, “when you fast…” Hey, get up in the morning. Anoint your head, wash your face. What is he talking about? He’s talking about habits done in the dark so we can walk in the light.

Where should I start? I want to challenge you to pray today and this week about planning a consistent fast. I don’t think it helps to just say, I’m going to do a one-and-done, because I think a lot of what happens with a lot of us — and I’m giving more of a testimony — is we try it, it doesn’t go well, and we give up. We think that’s for more spiritual people. I want to tell you, it doesn’t work. It’s like going to the gym. I’m going to go to the gym on Thursday and check that box. You say, well, I went to the gym and it was really uncomfortable. That’s how fasting will be the first time. Pray about setting up a consistent fast.

In order to do that, a couple suggestions here. And again, these are more testimonies than anything. Would you be willing to start small? For some of you kids, maybe your first fast will be to pause 60 seconds before plunging into lunch. Just wait. Give thanks. Be reminded this comes from your Father. For some of us, it may mean skipping one meal once a week at a time when we can devote ourselves to prayer, reading the Bible.

I think a big one in our culture is going on a technology fast because of the way it tends to dominate our thinking. For some of you, it may be one night a week: “I’m going to begin fasting from screens.” Put the phone away, no TV, no technology, and then intentionally plan your time. I’m going to go on a prayer walk for the beginning. I’m going to spend some time in the word. We’re going to pray as a family. We’re going to listen to worship music. We’re going to … whatever it is.

The second suggestion is don’t try to mimic someone else. Like, I had these assumptions of what it should be like. All of us are wired differently. It’s okay to say, “Lord, what kind of fast, and doing what within that fast, would redirect my confidence away from the things I am currently relying on and move them closer to you, put them on you?” Just listen and try.

You’re going to find, over time, there are things you’re going to stop doing and things you’re going to start doing. The goal is by 85 years old to learn how to fast. That’s the third suggestion: think long-term. Don’t think right now because when you train, it takes time before you actually begin to see the fruit of the training you are in. Following Jesus is not a sprint. If we’re going to finish well, it’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. Pete Scazzero’s mentor said,

“The best decade of your life will be your 70s. The second best will be your 80s, and the third will be your 60s.”

I have a lot of thoughts about that that I want to talk about sometime, but the part that I love about that is it’s redirecting our attention to long term so that we see we’re following Jesus.

This isn’t just about “a prayer and I’m done” or “I tried and I can’t.” For me, fasting has been a real struggle and I can blame it on my physiology. Passing out and having convulsions does not make for a spiritual experience. But when we think creatively in the presence of our Father, he trains us. He changes us. He grows us. We stumble, we fail, we learn, we grow, and it is a beautiful thing.

Are you willing to do that? Are you willing to explore what that would look like with my schedule and talking with your family? Don’t post on social media? Let’s pray.

Father, you are a rewarder of those who diligently seek you. So we just want to tell you this morning that we would rather be near you hungry than away from you full. We would rather have your smile than thunderous applause. So we come to you. All of us have a boatload of insecurities. Some of us are better at hiding them than others, but we thank you that you know us better than we know ourselves. Your love is like no one else’s love because you both expose us and love us. He draws near.

We want to finish well, Lord. We thank you for teaching like this that you have provided us so that we can flourish into our 70s, 80s, 90s, if you will. We want to feast on your promises so that your church, your followers are growing, feeding on food that this world does not know of. We thank you in Jesus’ name, amen.