Judging Safely – 8/11/24

Before we look at Matthew 7 — you can turn there — I want to share another parenting tip regarding worship services.

A couple of weeks ago, we learned that it might help if you sat closer to the front so your kids have fewer distractions (maybe). That was two weeks ago. Then last week, we learned it might help if you had your kids draw some of what they hear. Even if they can’t get everything, they can get something. Then afterward, you can talk about what they drew.

My wife and I raised four kids here at North Hills in every service, every Sunday. We practiced some of these same tips. I want to offer tip number three. This is the “it’s not about you” tip, which sounds like the old crotchety preacher tip, perhaps. Or it could be the Psalm 46:10 tip: “Be still, and know that I am God.”

What happens in many worship services is—and this isn’t just true for kids; this is true for really all of us—but we can start asking questions in our head: “Man, we’re singing so many songs I don’t like.” Or, “There are too many words in the sermon I don’t understand.” Or, “The service is too long for my Xbox attention span.”

When we begin to ask those questions, whether they’re just happening in our head or we’re verbalizing those— I think they’re good questions. Like, what is wrong when this is the case? What tip number three is suggesting is maybe nothing’s wrong. Maybe nothing’s wrong with you or with the worship service. Maybe we just need to tweak our expectations as to why we come to worship. Whenever you gather with a large group of people, you’re going to sing songs that might not be your favorite, or hear words that you might not be familiar with, or have to sit a little longer than you might be used to.

What I’m suggesting is perhaps that’s not indicative of something that’s broken or wrong. Maybe that’s part of what it means to gather together as a big church family and worship God, because we come primarily for him and for our brothers and sisters. Let’s try to bring this to a practical place.

If I’m a kid who’s wondering, “Why do we sing that song? I hate that song.” Helping a child realize, well, maybe as you’re singing that song you’re not super excited about singing, you could remember that perhaps the Spirit of God has us singing that song today because there’s someone down the row that really needs that song and the Spirit is really ministering. So even though it’s not my favorite, and I could stay home and sing in the shower my favorites, the reason corporate worship is different from singing in the shower is because it’s not designed just for me or just for you as an individual. We’re coming with a mindset of, like we just sang, “let us be known by our love.” God, what do you have for my brothers and sisters today? And what if we’re singing this for your glory? Not because it’s my favorite.

Here’s the interesting thing: I find when I come with that mindset, I end up getting more out of the worship service than if I come to get something out of the worship service. Does that make sense? It’s weird because I’m turning my attention away from myself, tuning into “God, what are you doing today? Why did you bring us?” Wide open to whatever you want to do. Let’s pray.

Father, we have come to worship you as King— you, the one whose

“mercies, how tender, how firm, to the end, our Maker, Defender, Redeemer, and Friend.”

We ask that as we sing and pray and fellowship, and listen to your Word today, that you would open our eyes to be able to see things that we might not have been able to see before, to hear things that we might really need to hear today, and then to respond. The passage we’re looking at, Lord, is so confusing to us, especially for some of us who already feel judged by our own conscience constantly, or maybe we have a hyperactive conscience, or by critical people in our lives. Or some of us are paralyzed because we’re afraid to judge wrongly, so we don’t judge anything. Some of us are way too quick to judge. Wherever we are, help us to hear what you have for us. In Jesus’ name, amen.

When I was in college, a couple of my classmates had to abruptly fly home because there had been a tragic firearms accident. Their mother was home alone, heard a noise in the basement, took a revolver, went down the stairs, and was searching for the source of the noise when she tripped, fell, and shot herself. The means of protection became the means of harm.

There are people who would assume from that kind of tragedy that it’s better just not to own a firearm. It’s safer. Homeowners shouldn’t have firearms because they’re so dangerous. There are other people who would say, “Well, wait, wait, wait, wait. The problem isn’t so much owning a firearm. It’s knowing how to use it safely.” This is why anyone who has a firearm should go through training, CWP,  or some kind of concealed weapon permit, some kind of training so that they know how to prevent negligent discharges, which is what happened to that dear woman. Or downrange failures, like knowing what is beyond a target. Or unauthorized access to a weapon, where you might have kids in the home or an unstable individual, and you’ve got to make sure that weapons are not accessible. In other words, an untrained gun owner can actually do more damage than good.

I think there’s a similar debate raging regarding the passage we’re about to look at in Matthew 7:1,

“Judge not, that you be not judged.”

Is Jesus in Matthew 7 teaching us that judging should be banned? It’s just too dangerous? Homeowners should not have access to judging? The government needs to confiscate it because they know how to do it safely. Such cynicism.

Then there are other people that say, “No, no, no. The problem isn’t with the judging. It’s knowing how to do it safely, wisely, so that it doesn’t cause more harm than good.” Jesus, in his most famous sermon, I believe is providing just such training. How to judge safely, wisely. But before we look at that, let’s back up, get our bearings.

We’re in the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5-7. When the King and his kingdom come near, we begin with who we are: a new kingdom identity (Matthew 5:1-16). The blessed are the unlikely ones and this blessing that Jesus describes spills over to our neighbors and to the glory of God as we become salt and light. That is who we are.

Then secondly, how we live: a new authority (Matthew 5:17-48). Jesus repeats time after time,

“You have heard, but I say to you…”

He gives us six case studies that illustrate what our lives will look like when Jesus is our authority.

“You have heard, but I say to you…”

In other words, Jesus puts the authority for how we live in himself and his words. He gives us very practical case studies like anger, lust, marriage, etc.

We began our summer with the third section: what we live for. By the way, if you’re visiting, this is all review. We’re moving quickly because it’s review. What do we live for? A new security. This is chapter 6. We don’t live for status (1-18), otherwise we will be riddled with the fear of man. We don’t live for stuff, otherwise we will be riddled with anxiety. But we seek first the kingdom and we know that our Father will add all these things to us as we need.

Now, today, we turn to the fourth major section in the Sermon on the Mount: how we fix what is broken, a new responsibility (7:1-12). In this “now, but not yet” kingdom, we are going to need to have the ability to identify what is right and what is wrong, and then respond appropriately.

We could call this a safety course in judging, and there are four parts to this course. I’m going to rattle through the four parts. You don’t need to write this down because we’re going to get to these four over the next few weeks.

Number 1, start with yourself (1-5) Number 2, stop trying to force feed (6). Christ’s kingdom is not coercive or manipulative. Number 3, keep asking your Father (7-11), “Ask, seek, knock.” Intercession is the opposite of manipulation. Then number four, be creative in your kindness. That’s where we’re heading over the next few weeks.

Today we’re going to start with number one in our safety course in judging: start with yourself. Jesus begins in verse 1,

“Judge not, that you be not judged.”

He uses a Greek verb, “krino,” which simply means to judge or decide. Literally, it means to sift or separate. This can be a formal separation, as in a court where a verdict is issued, or an informal distinguishing things in life. It can be strong as in to condemn, or it can be weak, as in to evaluate. The Bible both commands and forbids judging. Let me give you a few examples, and each one of these uses that same Greek verb or a form of krino.

First of all, we are commanded to judge rightly (Luke 7:43, 12:57). We are commanded to judge immoral relationships (1 Corinthians 5:3, 12). Paul is specifically addressing the question of church discipline, progressive confrontation. If we are in sin. We are commanded to judge unloving neglect (1 Corinthians 11:31). Paul says, if we judge ourselves truly, we would not be judged.

The context is the people of God gathering for the Lord’s Supper. Some are scarfing down huge amounts of food and some are starving. He’s saying you’re not discerning the Lord’s body because you’re neglecting people within your midst. You can’t worship God and say, “I don’t care about my brother.” There are other examples. We’ll stop there. Examples like we’re called to judge false prophets, to discern. We’ll see that later in this chapter.

We’re also forbidden to judge. Here are a few examples. We’re forbidden to judge superficially (John 7:24) based on appearance. All forms of prejudice would fall under that. We’re forbidden to judge motives (1 Corinthians 4:5), that is “the hidden purposes of the heart.” We’re forbidden to judge matters of conscience. This is a big one that we as Christians struggle with. Because in Romans 14, Paul says regarding debatable areas like food and days and moral preferences — not moral absolutes, moral preferences — we must not judge one another.

Then also we’re forbidden to judge slanderously. In James 4:11-12, James is going after an attitude of judgmentalism, where we are wrongfully labeling, condemning other people.

Then finally, we’re forbidden to judge hypocritically, hypocritically. Romans 2:1,

“Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things.”

Jesus here is pressing into that warning against hypocritical judgment. To help us see that, let’s move from verse 1 where Jesus simply says,

“Judge not, that you be not judged”

to where he begins to explain, what do you mean, Jesus? What are you talking about? In verse 2 he explains,

“For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”

In other words, judging others is like starting a food fight. You never want to start a food fight if you want to keep a clean shirt. You don’t want to prank your roommate if you don’t want to be pranked back. Jesus is simply saying the manner and the measure of your judging will be returned.

I want to use a tragic example. I’ve hesitated all week, going back and forth whether to you use this example, because it can be easily misunderstood. But I think you’re up for it. I told part of this story years ago, the first part is old, but the second part is not.

Dr. Mike Adams was an atheist, a professor at the University of North Carolina, Wilmington, greatly loved as a professor. He got high student ratings consistently, won numerous awards. But Dr. Adams became a Christian, and so his views on social and moral issues changed significantly. He began writing a column.

Anyone who’s worked in higher education understands, if you’re going to live out your Christian views on moral issues in academia, you either need to go silent or if you speak, there is a price to pay. He began to write in a column, and in one of those he mentioned his concerns regarding a growing transgender movement. This is so interesting because it’s over 18 years ago that he wrote about this.

In May 2006, Brian, a transgendered person, wrote a public letter to Dr. Adams. He wrote this:

“The fact that you are in a position to teach young people, yet espouse your bigoted views, shows what an immoral person you are. Jesus says not to judge others—”

Now pause for a second. What Brian is illustrating is the most common use of Matthew 7:1 you’ll hear in our culture today. “Jesus says, don’t judge me.”

“yet you choose to condemn a segment of society, not for their moral value, but instead, out of your dislike for the fact that they are not close enough to your ideology to allow yourself to feel comfortable … The fact that you consider yourself to be a religious person is especially disheartening. I was raised with a Christian upbringing, and yet what I see is the religious right doing everything possible to condemn, degrade, and stop anyone that is different from them. This is not what God teaches. I am a transgendered person, not by choice, it is the way God made me. I need to deal with that, and I will. I do not have to deal with intolerance from bigots. I feel sorry for you and your closed, bigoted world. I think that it is people like you that have made religious ideology the main reason people die in wars all across the world.”

Wow, we just jumped.

“Your views show yourself as being no better than the terrorists around the world targeting other innocent victims. Congratulations on your jihad against other creatures of God.”

That was posted all over everywhere. Then Dr. Adams responded with ten questions. Again, what I want us to see is the point Jesus is making: the measure and manner of your judgment will be the measure and manner of the response. So, Dr. Adams’ response:

“Why did you say that ‘Jesus says not to judge others’ just one sentence after calling me an ‘immoral person?’ Is calling someone ‘immoral’ a judgment? Is calling someone ‘immoral’ immoral?”

Number 2, “Where in the New Testament does Jesus say not to judge others? I thought he warned of the consequences of hypocritical judgment.”

Number 3, “Doesn’t the New Testament contain more references to hell than the Old Testament? Who keeps making these references?”

Number 4, “You state that I ‘choose to condemn a segment of society not for their moral value, but instead out of [my] dislike for the fact that they are not close enough to [my] ideology.’ Why did you then categorically judge the ‘religious right’ in the next paragraph? Was that what Jesus was talking about when he said, ‘Judge not, lest you be judged?’ Was it merely hypocrisy that he was talking about?”

Number 5, “When you state, ‘This is not what God teaches,’ are you suggesting that there is only one interpretation of the Bible? Are you a fundamentalist? Were you born that way? In other words, did God make you that way?”

Number 6, “When you state that God made you transgendered, didn’t you mean to say that God made you a woman? Didn’t you surgically subvert the will of God? God didn’t actually perform the surgery, did he?”

Number 7, “I have spent a good deal of time in prisons. I once spoke to a pedophile. Did God make him that way? Was acting on his impulse to rape children the will of God?”

Number 8, “Is criticizing the transgendered morally equivalent to mass murder?”

Number 9, “Do you mean to suggest that I am morally unqualified to teach because I believe that the transgendered are mentally ill? Why can’t you just allow me to make these statements outside the workplace without your moral condemnation? Who was it who said, ‘I do not have to deal with intolerance from bigots.’ Wasn’t that you?”

Number 10, “If you people want to be left alone, why do you keep writing me? Why do you keep bothering my colleagues and so-called superiors with letters asking for me to be fired?”

Now this exchange illustrates the point Jesus is making regarding judgment. Dr. Adams shares a moral conviction. Brian responds by judging his judgment. Dr. Adams judges him for judging him, and it continues. In this case, tragically, it turns very dark.

The UNC Wilmington administration grew tired of their beloved professor, refused to promote him, or defend his free speech outside the workplace. They deceptively edited documents to influence a faculty vote against him. All of this has been demonstrated in court, and Dr. Adams eventually won the court case, but he continued to post and tweet controversial statements, so the school pressured him to retire early. The 15-year battle took a tremendous toll on him, and in July 2020, he took his own life.

My point for telling this story— a couple things I’ve got to qualify, lest we miss the point. It’s not to defend the wisdom of all of Dr. Adams’ posts. Dr. Adams could be funny and winsome, was very bright, but even his friends warned him that often he could be sarcastic and caustic, and that doesn’t help.

Secondly, the point of this illustration is not to discourage courageous cultural engagement. If there’s ever a time for Christians to speak the truth with love, now is the time. So what is the point?

My point is simply again to illustrate Matthew 7:1-2. Look at it again:

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”

The point that Jesus is saying is judging is dangerous for both parties. That’s why I use the analogy of a weapon because judging can be like owning a weapon. It can be done well and produce great benefits, or it can be done unsafely or unwisely and produce great harm. So how do we do it well? This is where Jesus applies his point. Look at verse 3.

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but you do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

A couple of things jump out here. One is the emphasis on vision. Do you see verse 3, the word “see”? Verse 3, “notice.” Verse 5, “see clearly.” That last one is the Greek word “diablepo,” to see clearly.

That word is only used three times in the New Testament. One time here, one time in Luke 6 referring to this same context, and one time in Mark 8 when Jesus spit and touched the eyes of the blind man and he could see. However, I believe this is the only time Jesus did an incremental healing, a two-stage healing. Look at Mark 8:24. The guy says,

“I see people, but they look like trees walking.”

They look like ents. And so Jesus, Mark 8:25,

“…laid his hands on his eyes again; and he opened his eyes, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly.”

That’s diablepo. That’s that same verb Jesus uses back in Matthew 7:5. Now here’s the part that just struck me this week, and I’ve studied this passage for years and never saw it.

Both of these examples have tree references. The blind man, when he was partially healed of his blindness, could see people, but they looked like large, shadowy creatures with branches and maybe leaves and stuff. He couldn’t see clearly. So Jesus touches him again and he can see clearly.

I wonder if it’s possible to be in church for years and to have experienced the touch of Jesus to where you can see things you couldn’t see before, but not completely. Like, people are still dark, shadowy creatures. We easily misinterpret who they are as image-bearers. We can’t quite see the contours of how God has designed them and made them in unique, beautiful ways. We just see dark shadows.

What Jesus is saying is, without a healthy self-awareness of our own weaknesses and failures, we will not see people clearly. We will just see them like the blind man who was partially healed. Perhaps some of us need another touch of Jesus to give us 20/20 spiritual vision so that we can see people as he sees people.

Jesus, of course, is using hyperbole when he refers to the log in your own eye. He’s trying to be ridiculous. It is as ridiculous as a two-by-four coming out of your eye, and you’re trying to do eye surgery on a speck in your neighbor’s eye. You can’t understand why you can’t get close enough to him, because you keep whacking him with your two-by-four coming out of your eye. You can’t see clearly to actually help him.

There’s a deadly combination here: low in self-awareness — and by self-awareness, I’m speaking specifically of having a vague, shadowy, shallow awareness of your own failures  — plus high social awareness. I’m speaking specifically, by social awareness, I’m thinking I have a strong, clear view of your failures. Like, I can see what you need to get fixed so clearly. Can’t really see it in myself, but man, if you would only let me get at that thing in your eye, you could be good to go. Low in self-awareness plus high in social awareness leads to hypocritical judgmentalism, hypocritical judgmentalism.

Think of a guy pulling out a weapon in the middle of the mall. Do we still have malls? I think we do. Sarah says we do. Pulling out a weapon in the middle of the mall, blindfolded, trying to do good. At best, you’re going to harm someone. There’s nothing good that can come from that. That’s what Jesus is saying. Without a healthy understanding of self-awareness, which most of us, well, naturally we don’t have.

A.W. Tozer wrote years ago in his book, That Incredible Christian, he said, “Hardly anything else reveals so well the fear and uncertainty among men as the length to which they will go to hide their true selves from each other and even from their own eyes.

“Almost all men live from childhood to death behind a semi-opaque curtain, coming out briefly only when forced by some emotional shock and then retreating as quickly as possible into hiding again. The result of this lifelong dissimulation is that people rarely know their neighbors for what they really are, and worse than that, the camouflage is so successful that mostly they do not quite know themselves either.”

Jesus is making a really simple, really difficult, really important point: let’s start with ourselves rather than trying to fix people, things out there. Slow down. Start with ourselves.

Leo Tolstoy, the great Russian novelist, in one of his lesser-known works, Three Methods of Reform, wrote,

“Everybody thinks of changing humanity, and nobody thinks of changing himself.”

He called this the “Permanent Revolution” that needs to happen, that “regeneration of the inner man.” If you don’t start from within, no matter how much social change you bring about, it only results in greater damage ultimately. So how do we do it safely?

Let’s do an exercise together. This first part of the exercise will be the easiest thing you’ve ever done in church. I want you to think of someone you know who needs to change. Don’t say their name. Just think of someone you know that it would be really good if they would get it, see it, embrace change. It could be a brother you haven’t spoken to in a long time. It could be a sister you’re at odds with, the friends that you’ve been struggling to communicate with, or someone you disagree on a moral issue with. It could be a spouse who’s hard to love. It could be … You think of someone. Do you have someone in your mind? I don’t think that’s too hard. Whoever you’re thinking of is probably thinking of you, so it works great. Group project.

Just imagine, what is our natural tendency? If we can think of someone who needs to change, our natural inclination is … depending on our personalities, some of us are more prone to just jump in and go talk to them right away. Or others of us will mull over and just increase the amount of resentment within me that they’re not changing. They may not even know they need to change. Whatever our natural inclination, what Jesus is saying is, can we pause? And can we start with ourselves before we do anything?

I want to suggest some questions we could ask ourselves with this individual in mind as we’re pausing and looking at ourselves first.

]Are you, am I willing to see things you can’t see yet? This is really hard. Because if I’m an insecure person, which most of us have insecurities to various levels, then being willing to see something that I can’t see feels threatening. If I’m finding my security in status or stuff, it will feel threatening. But if I’m running to my Father. Father, “I feel like this individual needs to change, but I’m sure there is something I can’t see yet about my own heart.” Then as I see that, that would certainly help me address his heart or her heart. So first, are you willing to see what you can’t see yet? If you say no to that, then you’re set up to become a hypocrite.

Second step, are you willing to own things you need to own? Quick clarification here: I’m not talking about false guilt. There are people who go into every situation, every conflict, assuming, “It’s my fault. I’m sorry,” and apologizing just to bring peace, even if it’s a fake peace. I’m not talking about that. That doesn’t help.

I’m not talking about pretending it’s your fault. But if you think of the range of possible wrong, the alleged wrong — you’ve got an image of that — and if you think of it as a range, and if you think, “Okay, this person thinks I’ve done this, maybe I don’t see all of this, but, Lord, help me see what I need to see.” “I really was sharp in the way I spoke to her last week. I was just consumed with my own agenda. Will you forgive me?” To be able to own, not what is not yours to own, but to own what is yours. This is so important because how can I pretend to want someone else to see something they need to change if I’m not willing to see it myself?

Third question. I think this one’s a big one. Are you willing to enjoy things you can’t earn? Some of you might be thinking, what does that have to do with this conflict? I feel like that’s a huge distraction. No, this is everything. This is putting on the gospel lenses that Jonathan was talking about last Sunday. This is slowing down. “Spirit of God, help me to see what I can’t see so I can see clearly.” If we’re not willing to enjoy what we cannot earn, that means we don’t value grace. We don’t see our own need of grace, and therefore we’re going to be far less likely to offer it to another.

I think this is a big point in the Dr. Adams illustration I just shared. Many a cultural warrior who goes to war for truth shrivels up inside and ends up becoming angry and bitter. “I don’t know why you people don’t want the love of Jesus! Can’t figure it out.” This point is, wait. Slow down. If I want someone to know and enjoy the grace and the truth of Jesus but I’m not currently knowing and enjoying him, what am I doing? That’s why Jesus says, stop. Start with yourself. You can’t give what you don’t have. So slow down.

This week I was reading Isaiah 55. I just love this.

“Come, everyone who thirsts,
Come to the waters;
And he who has no money,
Come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
Without money and without price.
Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,
And your labor for that which does not satisfy?
Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,
And delight yourselves in rich food.”

That’s the heart of our Father. Can we slow down and enjoy what he has for us before we try to fix someone?

1 John 1:7-9, “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

That is enjoying the things you can’t earn. When you have a group of people who are feeding on, delighting in the grace of God, yes, we will speak truth. Yes, we will have hard conversations. They’re never easy, but it will be the overflow of the joy of who Jesus is and what he’s done for us so that it will take the edge off that bitterness, caustic tone, haughtiness.

Finally, are you willing to say the things you need to say? Or not. Because when we start with ourselves, as Jesus says in verse 5, we can see clearly. People aren’t dark, shadowy, Ents, tree-like creatures. The news and our politics and online world will turn people into shadowy, dark beings, strip them of their humanity. Jesus is saying, slow down, see your own heart. Then you can see clearly to say what I want you to say, and I will use you. Let’s pray.

Before I pray, let’s just take a moment to cry out to your Father quietly. Talk to him about what he has spoken to you about this morning, and then I’ll pray in a moment.

Father, thank you that you are hearing our prayers — prayers of confession, prayers for help. This is hard. In a world where right and wrong are decided online with slogans and zingers that trigger avalanches of mob pylons, we so quickly forget who people are.

Jesus, we acknowledge you are so different. There’s nothing fake in you. Nothing caustic or compromising. You are gentle and truthful.

“Your mercies, how tender, how firm to the end.”

Some of us here, Lord, we need another touch. We have allowed the culture we live in and our own propensities to crust over, spiritual cataracts form over our vision, and we are not seeing people clearly. The result of that is a hypocritical judgmentalism, whether we say the words or not. It’s not helpful.

So we humble our hearts before you, Lord. We thank you. You rush in with your mercy. So kind. Jesus, you bore all our judgmentalism on your cross. You wash us clean. You teach us how to judge wisely and safely, helpfully. Continue to speak to us now, we pray, in Jesus’ name, amen.